Relax

Now, that was a very strange few days, a veritable odyssey into the known. Interview trips are always a little like that, especially as I've already visited so many places in Britain at this point. Now, in the aftermath of the trip, it's time to sit back and relax and try to not worry about the consequences of either success or failure. Yes, success can have very scary consequences, as it normally brings change with it. That's why many people try not to succeed, as they're scared of things not being the same. This is what you learn in any kind of counselling, as well as how to indulge in double-speak and waste time talking about the weather.

So, in this case success would involve quickly moving to a distant town, jumping into new teaching duties fairly soon, and doing all the settling in things that get on everyone's nerves, saving lots of money, and trying your best in a short-term position which includes both the lengthy Christmas and Easter vacations. Short-term positions can actually leave you feeling pretty sleazy, as being paid for Christmas and Easter is a massive piece of inadvertent exploitation on your own part. You are in reality being paid a moderately large amount of money for watching television and reading novels for a month, barring unexpected faculty duties or actual dedication to your research. Very sleazy indeed.

A lot of people need to be trained into accepting the possibility of success, instead of turning away from it. When we eventually get to the 'The West Wing' and its second season finale 'Two Cathedrals', this theme will rear its terrible head again. If the rationale for not doing something is that it would be too hard, then how does that affect you and is it a good reason? And how do you tell the difference between something you genuinely don't want to do and something you're very afraid of doing? It's complicated out there in the monumental forests of the soul, and there aren't phantom owls or secretaries to light the way.

Philosophy can crawl all over you on long train journeys with only one or two books to keep you company. On this occasion 'Zorba the Greek' was finally finished and can be reported as definitely troubling. There will be a post about it, but the main thrust of the admittedly excellent novel is all about life, death and conquering your own fears, and it must be troubling indeed for all the timid people out there in the world and right here at this keyboard. It's only troubling, though, and not downright distressing as 'The Glass Bead Game' was. Gadzooks, that novel needed to come with a mental stability warning, and a big 'do not panic' sticker on the final page. It will take a few days for all this philosophy to wear off and for things to get back to normal, unless of course success renders a new and highly disruptive normal.

Success is scary but often necessary, but sadly doesn't often come with a complimentary blanket. Darn.

O.