Circumstantial

What was I going to write about today? It was always a mystery. The interview yesterday was a massive and impenetrable barrier in time, a black wall through which nothing could penetrate. Now only questions remain. What questions! What oddities! What are we all thinking when we do the silly things of life? Why do so many people exert themselves so badly and bury themselves under pressure for money they don't need? Why are we talking about money? What just happened?

<reboots head>

What would it be like to be good at interviews? To not panic and turn into a mental mush? To give a presentation that doesn't trail off into a messy pile of nonsense halfway through? Anyone who has seen one of my presentations will attest to that fuzzy vagueness, or the alternate frenzy that can drive the presentation through at double speed straight into the bushes that mark 'no man's land', next to the nuclear blancmange lake and the fossil rhubarb. Good grief, how do people do all they things they do for money without going utterly crazy? Ah, that's an assumption, perhaps they have all gone utterly crazy, and I'm right in the padded wagon with everyone else, just looking out the window from time to time. What kind of world is this?

Introspection is fascinating, and so easily forgotten. It had utterly slipped my mind that I get sick when I do things for money. Some people get sick when they break their word and lie, while others have a breakdown if put under the slightest of pressures, and a few suffer all of these things at the same time and go through life being far too sensitive to the world around them. Tick me in for the last box. What to do in that situation? Aim high and breakdown under the unnecessary pressure, or do something that makes you happy and content with your lot in life and not prone to emotional shock and trauma?

So far, every career I've tried or considered has been overwhelming, dominating both worktime and leisure time. Teaching would be that, academia was that, and it prevails wherever you see large salaries and the word 'professional' tagged to a job. You don't get to spend your evenings writing blogs, learning Greek, practicing your juggling or doing anything else. That is the principal stumbling block to, if it's an accurate idea. Is it accurate? Are you better off having a simpler job, but one that lets you do some interesting things in your spare time, instead of planning lessons until oblivion or reading papers that go on forever?

Such questions, and such troubles!

O.

PS Some times soon, expect a book review for Patrick Rothfuss's 'The Wise Man's Fear', and a retrospective for the 1993 television series 'Moon Over Miami'. Oh, 'Moon Over Miami', the only bootleg I ever bought... Also, 'Oneiromancy' is on deck right now, and will be driven to its conclusion. Somehow. Someway. Somewhen.