Friday 16 September 2016

The Heat Is On

The pressure is on, as the first of the endless round of GCSEs looms on the temporal horizon. It's not the nicest of propositions for the students of today, is it? From my contacts, it seems that year eleven has been pretty much abolished due to the pressure on the schools to do well, maybe even moreso than the pressure on the students. Instead, they have a long string of exam revision sessions in a bid to beat other schools on the league tables. We live in a strange world where schools compete with each other instead of cooperating, as do hospitals and various other public services. If that doesn't make sense to you either, then congratulations. It's most likely the Bizarro Universe! Please check the person next to you for a little stone label on a chain. As a private tutor, my list will double for a month, and then subside as the exams go away for a few months.

However, let's not be too serious. Far more important things are going on! For one thing, I missed a Quirky Muffin yesterday, which is a crime punishable by withholding of cocoa powder and exile in Scandinavia without smorgasboard privileges. Yes, it is THAT BAD. Indeed, the last person to miss a post here, Sven Morgansbeard, hasn't been seen since the mid Nineties. Ah, Sven, you had such a varied selection of rutabaga recipes. What is a rutabaga anyway? Isn't it a hybrid of some kind? All I know is from references to the foundation of the Kingdom of Sendaria in the Belgariad.

<some minimal research ensues>

Right, a rutabaga is a natural cross between a cabbage and a turnip, that was first written about in 1620. Apparently the crossing resulted in a doubly dense chromosomal nature, and a shift in the plant's classification as a result. I've not knowingly ever seen a rutabaga, except... It's also known as a swede! Now it all makes sense. You weren't expecting the next Quirky Muffin to be late, and a mix of examination and swede talk were you, hallucinatory readers of this blog? Oh, the accursed swede! That endless supply of mush! No wonder Morgansbeard was sent away, that swede-loving fiend!

It will be a rough few weeks, which might play havoc with the blog as it currently stands. Principal writing will shift to the daytime as eight evening students take their toll. It's not easy for a diurnal person to do that much evening work, but people need to be helped, so helped they shall be! Whether they like it or not. Mwahahahaha. Short term exam preparation is the worst kind of tutoring, but almost always necessary somewhere.

With that, it is time to tap the last strokes of this post, and move on to the next. One penalty of dereliction of duty is double posting...

O.


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