Story: 'The Great White Mountain'

From atop the Great High Mountain was a great voice heard. The voice, billowing forth with a cold breeze and audible waxing and waning with the currents, said this: "There can be only one." (Note: Thank you to 'Highlander' for this combination of words.)

Villages all around the base of the Great High Mountain heard the voice as did towns further away, and even the citizens of the great City of the Marshes. They waited in anticipation of elucidating comments along the lines of 'He shall come from far away, bearing hats', or 'The One will show you the Way, and the Way shall lead to the Local Government Consultation meeting'. No new sound would be heard for almost exactly a month.

Thirty days later, days being the same length near the Mountain as they are here on the third moon of Slanty, the great voice was heard again. The words boomed down along the air and were: "The points lead elsewhere." Even more consternation was caused at the foot of the Mountain and violent scuffles broke out among rowdy philosophers with their own pet theories on what it all meant. People had already been eyeing each other since "There can be only one", wondering who they would need to bump off first so they could be The One. Now what was all this talk about points?

A further thirty days later, the voice called out "Doo wop, doo wop, shimmy!" and everyone became red faced and embarrassed, except the philosophers who had long since descended into desperate wrestling bouts to prove their own intellectual superiorities over each other. Consequently they didn't hear as the voice then continued with "I'm a gnu, I'm a gnu, the most glovely thing in the zoo..." Rolling their eyes, the people at the foot of the Great White Mountain rolled their eyes, muttered about the stupid sense of humour their mountain had sometimes and went back to work. They kept their list of disposable neighbours just in case.

The Mountain chuckled to itself and did a little shimmy. Sadly the avalanches weren't funny at all.

What a jerk of a mountain.


PS New Film Bin commentary for 'Zulu' up at the usual place. Enjoy!
PPS Interview went well. There'll be an interruption for some days soon when I move.