How can a terrible movie be so good? Is it Brian Blessed? Is it the spectacular cast in general? Is it the score by Queen? Is it the screenplay by Lorenzo Semple junior, the writing brain behind the best parts of the 1960s Batman series? Does Sam Jones have some mystical power that transcends his slightly dubious performance? Is it Melody Anderson's hair? Perhaps the answer is the same answer that Richard Donner wanted for his Superman movies: Verisimilitude.
verisimilitude: the appearance of being real
Now, we can't argue that 'Flash Gordon' is realistic, but it is internally self-consistent, as was Superman. It may be silly but it's consistently silly and doesn't contradict itself. In fact, 'Flash Gordon' is more consistent in itself than the first two Superman movies but there are well documented reasons for that. As a result it bears the scrutiny of viewing well, and is boosted by some of the great performers involved instead of being undermined. It is silly though, very silly, ridiculous even.
A football player called Flash Gordon and a travel agent called Dale Arden have just met each other on a small plane and have crashed into an obscure facility run by a mysterious scientist after being struck by meteorites. Dale and Flash are conned into a spaceship - looking for the bathroom no less - by the scientist, who Dale recognises as the mad Dr Zarkov. They're then launched on an adventure into space with the fate of the Earth and their own lives imperilled by the evil Emperor Ming the Merciless. Do they manage to save the day?
'Flash Gordon' is a massive, colourful, nonsensical epic of bizarre proportions with so much camp in evidence that you almost don't notice the score by Queen. It's a good score, by the way, understated in places and bombastic in others. It's interesting to note that this was conceived and produced in order to exploit the sci-fi wave that followed the success of 'Star Wars'. Indeed, if MMM Commentaries are to believed, George Lucas wanted to make 'Flash Gordon' but these guys beat him to it. Oddly, this movie has very little that unites it with 'Star Wars', moving to less realistic in every way that the Lucas movie tried to be real. The planets don't make sense, the vehicles make no sense, the aliens are odd, the costumes are ridiculous and scanty beyond belief, there is bizarre raciness, and the characters are akin to pantomime villains played by master actors. It's still good though, bizarrely good, in spite of the machinations of the producer behind it all or because of him?
To say too much more would spoil the movie, but if you watch it then pay attention and watch for the following:
- Brian Blessed as Vultan shouting things and misbehaving
- Topol as Dr Zarkov deploying the deadpan snark
- A former Blue Peter presenter being executed
- Richard O'Brien looking bemused by the whole thing
- Bore worms!
If that hasn't prepared you then nothing will. Good luck. Let the great god Dizan be with you and not against you.
O.
(Also written about in a later post, here.)
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