Story: 'Diary of a Laundry Robot', Week IV

( Week III , Week V )

Thursday

Hello? Are you working, journal program? There's a strange little blue being looking at me through a magnifying glass. Actually, he's examining my memory circuits. I think he must have tripped my power switch. He's talking to me, now, so I'll note our conversation:

Him: "Hello? You've woken up, then? Welcome to the Querg Continuum."

Me: "Welcome to where? I'm only programmed for laundry, and my battery must be running low, so could you return me to my laundry?"

Him: "Ah, you need not fear about your battery. It's all being taken care of. My name is Querg."

Me: "Yes, but..."

Him: "No, I insist. You're in a strange new world now. This is where we live, the Quergs that police time and space."

Me: "What's that got to do with socks, jumpers and woolly hats?"

Him: "Well, it's funny that you should mention hats, since we do have need of your rather specialised services."

Me: "Me? You need me?"

Him: "Yes, indeed. When that spatio-temporal incident occurred in your laundry, you came to my attention in the course of cleaning up the possible consequences. We really need someone to take care of our hats."

Me: "Your hats?"

The being - possibly he was a Querg? - looked at me with a twinkle in his eye. He was a curiously shaped fellow, blue and furry, but he was wearing a hat. Strangely it was a red and dangly example, with a white bobble on the end.

Him: "Yes, we are very fond of our hats, and their forms describe many or our roles and functions. I, for example, am a Keeper of the Books, and a Guardian of History. We like to keep our bobbles in good condition. Tell me, would you know what to do when confronted with volcanic ash on my hat?"

Me: "My programming is comprehensive, sir. However, I belong to my laundry."

Him: "You did, yes. However, we have made a deal with your owner, which we would like you to ratify, being a sentient cleaning robot."

Me: "Ratify? I'm a low-class cleaning robot. No-one has ever called me sentient, either! Not even Celia on our evenings out at the Wash-O-Rama!"

Him: "Celia? Do you have an attachment with this 'Celia'?"

Me: "It would hardly be polite to say, but we have been a team for a very long time. I wouldn't know what to do without her."

Him: "We hadn't considered this..."

Me: "I really couldn't stay without her. She has best precision scrubbing apparata."

Him: "Perhaps we can work something out. While I go and renegotiate, perhaps you would consider the potential advantages to becoming a co-founder of our Bureau's hat maintenance regime. We do have access to all of the universe and its history, you know."

Me: "All of..."

Him: "Yes, there are advantages."

Me: "Good grief! I could get an autograph from the legendary WashBot Alpha!"

At this point, the being looked a little disappointed, but sait it would be possible. WashBot Alpha! Wow! I can't think why he's sighing like that.

There shall be more.