Saturday, 31 December 2016

Story: The Ninja of Health, XXIII

( Part XXII , XXIV )

The sensei moved backward, and forward, waving his umbrella around as if he were Zorro or Robin Hood in an old movie. Rocks and stones crunched and wobbled as his unseen adversary played its part in the game. Sometimes, with a screech, Ken would score a hit, proving at least that the thing they were facing was material. It was also proving that Ken wasn't above mild combat to save his life. The sacred order of the ninjas of health were allowed to fight in self-defence, but it was always a very dangerous ethical balancing act.

"A ha!" Shouted Ken in triumph, and the with a sudden smash of sound, an invisible mass fell to the ground, utterly destroying their rock garden tribute to the druids of Tumbledown Moor. The sensei scrambled over in an instant, looking to  immobilise the invisible prisoner.

"We've got to help him!" Gasped the Woman and she dashed outside and jumped on the invisible beast at the second attempt.

"Ropes? We need restraints... We need something..." The Man dashed around the chapel, looking for something useful to secure their guest, finally emerging with some gurney belts. He rushed outside, to see Ken and his companion bucking up and down in the air wildly, on the back of the mysterious creature. Unhesitatingly, the Man rushed forward, seeking to trip the Whatever It Was with the belts, but a manic heave sent Ken and the Lady flying through the air and onto the chapel roof. They hung there limply, and for several moments the Man's mind turned to utter despair.

The gravel behind him crunched, and a moment later he was sprawled all over the chapel roof too, between his partner and their teacher. Her eyes fluttered, and looked at him blankly. Then, muttering softly, "We are getting knocked out far too often...", she crawled over and checked his pulse. It was fine. Then, she checked on Ken, who was a bit thready but otherwise functioning as far as she could tell.

Was the creature still in the grounds, she wondered, or had it wandered off? Was it THE creature, or some new entity? Were there problems going to get even worse. Looking back to Ken again, she was slightly stunned when he winked at her and slid over to the drainpipe. "Chin up, big tall Grasshopper, we've got a chance now!"

More, more, more...

Thursday, 29 December 2016

Global Peace Plan: Haircuts

After a weary day of changing plans, and being thoroughly annoyed, it could be difficult to write something possible here, but we don't care about reality! Nyahahahaha! Oh, okay, we do care about reality a little. At the moment, reality is proving most persistent in the area of the one compulsory module forced upon me by the Open University. It is going very slowly... Never have I had to think for so long about multiculturalism versus uniculturalism (a new -ism!), and monoculturalism as a concept, and try to make judgements. What does any of it mean? I don't know. Uniculturism seems more practical than multiculturalism though, so presumably I'll have to think about it some more.

'Mission Impossible' is playing to one side, with a strange tale about a pseudo South African republic, and a Colonel artificially made black in order to forward a hunt for some stolen gold. It's really a very strange one. I forgot that things like this happened. They did it on 'M*A*S*H' once too, to a lesser degree, this changing of skin colour. However, I don't think it's that bad a thing to do in pursuit of making a point. At least they were trying, however clumsily. Maybe a darkly coloured person would be more offended than an exceedingly pale caucasian weakling.

December is almost at an end, and 2016 has almost expired with it. Thankfully, the return of lengthening days is helping a marked improvement in concentration and ability, which is only hindered by needing a haircut. Yes, the biblical stories about Samson are true, but in reverse. My mental acuity becomes weaker as my hair grows. It's probably an overheating problem. Sometimes, a suspicion crosses the mind that many of the world's political problems might be averted with some judiciously prescribed haircuts, but that would be too simplistic, right?

Having finished both the Jules Verne adventure, and the Michael Palin travelogue mini-series, the idea of a post about 'Around The World In Eighty Days' has been kicking around in my mind, but it's not quite right yet. The concept of a race around the world in a certain time pre-dates the novel, so it feels wrong to write about it without getting more information. Maybe in the future it will surface. Until then, viva 'The Ninja Of Health'!

More shall follow in the coming days.

O.

Tuesday, 27 December 2016

Television: 'Supergirl: Pilot' (Episode 1x01) (2015)

I don't know what to make of the pilot episode for 'Supergirl'. Somehow, it combines immense potential with many of the problems of superficiality in the modern DC superhero series. Nothing goes unsaid, everything is stated, and everyone is very, very beautiful. It's very feminist but at the expense of running almost all the male characters into idiotic stooge status and having a pretty awful first episode supervillain. Well, feminism isn't exactly 'equal rights and equal treatment' anyway, is it? Or is it? It's a very murky question, and one addressed very clumsily in the pilot. Finally, there's far too much a feeling of 'inside pool', of everything originating and circling around from one pool of causes back to the same pool with effects, of there not being any outside stories being told. Everything is just too neat.

It's very unusual for me to be writing without an overview of the whole series, season or even the next few episodes. If this turns into an ongoing feature it could become very interesting... For now, it's like reaching around blindly, searching for a torch in the darkness.

Having covered the most negative aspects of the 'Supergirl' pilot, let's elaborate much more on the positives. The traditional airplane rescue sequence is fantastic and sells the idea of being super as being fun - which is then squandered with a brutal closing fight, but let's gloss over that. Flying should be a wonderful experience! Melissa Benoist pulls off a difficult job as Superman's cousin Kara, jumping over the very odd characterisation of someone who has renounced using their superpowers (and thus passively allowing every accident that ever happened around her?), but then finally gives in to her noble impulses, all the while pulling off a very nerdy vibe in her 'real life' personality as a browbeaten personal assistant. I'm just not sure it makes any sense, unless her contradictions are the result of her very troubling adopted family's insistence that she just be 'normal'. Hang on, we've shifted back into mixed to negative things! The plane sequence is very good indeed. It's a good tradition to keep, the inaugural plance rescue. I think that only George Reeves and Kirk Alyn were too early to get ones of their own.

Other positive things include the great use of Jimmy Olsen as a potentially very useful character, Kara revealing her new super-identity to two friends immediately, former-Super alumni Helen Slater and Dean Cain as her adopted parents (yet to speak a word so a question mark hangs over that), and the notion of a female superhero taking centre stage is a strong one. Ultimately, it will all hang on whether they manage to make any of the supporting cast interesting, and whether they can get away from the slightly disturbing reverence to 'Him', the ever-absent Superman in their universe. Also, can male characters also not just be wimps? Will they be able to get away with all those things? After one episode, the supporting cast are extremely bland with the notable exception of  Mehcad Brooks as Jimmy Olsen; Brooks is probably the most charismatic person in the whole pilot! Hopefully, it will pick up. The potential is amazing, but is the team behind the show super enough to make it work? Will there be enough depth to compensate for the superficiality brought in with the computer generated imagery? (Having said that, the heat vision was extremely well done for once, as was the plane sequence.)

Time will tell. We will see...

O.

Monday, 26 December 2016

The Benefit Of Sleeping Well

It's that time again, the time to start pounding out silly words and hope they all make sense in a row. At least it will be easier this time, as for the first time in more than a month, tiredness is away and sleep has been predominant. The Quirky Muffin, as an extension of its writer, is finally well rested again. It's a wonderful and rare feeling. Maybe it's partly connected to being in the nicer half of the year too...

What could we write about in this new and exciting era? What new realms of imagination or scholarly endeavour remain to be plumbed? The nature of Christmas itself? A new plan for personalised bank holidays? The wonders of Dr McCoy's boom boom machine? What to write about? What? It's fortunate that we have a mandate for being determinedly undetermined, specifically unspecific, and fixedly unfixed in focus, or the Muffin might be in trouble! Tomorrow, a post on the pilot episode for the new-ish 'Supergirl' series will go up, but right now what shall it be?

There is a theory, a prominent one here at QM headquarters, that in your life you are usually either giving of yourself or giving to yourself. You are taking in or giving out. If you do too much of one of the other, you become out of balance and erratic. Teaching is a highly giving exercise. If you don't take time to do the opposite, you will run yourself ragged, as I nearly have. Holidays are a great time for calming down, relaxing and taking in peace and energy for a while. You get to read, watch television, think calm thoughts and be  at ease with the world. Good grief, this year has not been one conducive to the meditative and absorptive half of life! However, it's almost over now and we can relax. There is 'Around The World In Eighty Days' almost finished on the book pile, the Conan stories are a quarter read, 'Gilligan's Island', 'Batman', 'The Mentalist' and 'JAG' are all going swimmingly in the DVD rotations, and there's even time for a little bit of music.

Also, in a sign of definite holiday fever, a jigsaw puzzle has been embarked upon. Nothing shrieks of contemplation quite as much as a well patterned and highly irregular jigsaw of a beautiful illustration or painting. You take a chaotic pile of fragments, slowly sift them for the edges, establish the frame or context of the puzzle, and then build order from the madness. Well, for the most part my father will do the work compulsively, but it's still quite the project.

We're old school here at this weblog. Rathbone and Bruce all the way.

O.

Saturday, 24 December 2016

Story: The Ninja of Health, XXII

( Part XXI , XXIII )

"The rules behind prophecy have always been fuzzy. The act of divining a vision of the future, or the past, presupposes that the vision will be useful to someone eventually. If not, then why divine it in the first place? This tablecloth means something to someone, or will in the near future. That's simple logic. Also, we must assume that people have been knocked out for a reason, implying that one of the unconscious might have the clue we need. You have both been revived, so perhaps you aren't the ones with the knowledge. Does it sound good so far?" Ken paused for reassurance.

"Yes, that seems reasonable, although it could just be a meaningless or unconnected scheme that saw us knocked out." The Woman was not convinced.

"I won't argue that's a likely proposition, but then we have no clue whatsoever to follow. We must assume that the creature is keeping some people unconscious because they can explain what the tablecloth means, or could do so in the future. That includes especially our friend the Oracle, whose position is now beginning to seem desperate."

The Man looked thoughtfully at the corner of the room. "If that's so, then if we were detectives we could find some common factor behind the most stubbornly unconscious -- assuming that we're not fed misinformation -- and get ahead in this all."

"Yes... I should tell you once again, remind you, that this place is safe now. I can't exactly explain it, but ball pools seem to be excellent media for certain Pattern arrangements that are remarkably stable, and won't permit chaotic influences from the stars. At least, I hope so. As long as it's said here, it won't hear. For example, if I twirl and sing some standards from old musicals, it won't have the faintest idea that it ever happened." Ken stood up, twirled and did some Gene Kelly songs, distracting his two protégés from something he had seen outside the window in the process. Then he made an excuse and left the room, the tiny sitting room that had been the vestry.

"We're not detectives. How can we possibly work out a commonality between all these people, apart from obvious things such as when or where they collapsed?" The Woman demanded.

"Hush, milady, there might be ways."

"Huzzah!" The two looked at each other confusedly, and then toward the window. The noise had come from outside. When they looked, they saw Ken mock fencing with an umbrella in the small garden. Or was he mock fencing, after all?

Rocks tumbled and rolled, but nowhere near the sensei's steps. Something else was in the garden.

There can and will be more...

Thursday, 22 December 2016

Take Two

There was already one attempt at writing this post, but it fell foul of the Great Cosmic Jinx (GCJ) that occasionally takes the place of Thursdays. The GCJ/Christmas conjunction is quite rare, though. The doubling can cause all kinds of bizarre pressures! Even now, I shudder at it all. Actually, I shudder more at the sheer madness of ASDA in Llanelli earlier today. It wasn't a full on Christmas panic - they don't happen in Llanelli - but it was verging on ridiculous. What is it that happens to people at Christmas, exactly? It's only two bank holidays in a row, after all. You don't have to buy several trollies of extra food for just two days, do you? My incomprehension is probably linked to a secular upbringing. Maybe the extra food is for Father Christmas or his reindeer, or needs to be there in case of a spontaneous papal visit.

Oh, Christmas, that tricky time of year. What should be done with the free time? Sadly, this year it will be all study, as there are weeks of lagging behind the OU schedule to rectify. Who would have thought it would be that hard to stay on schedule? At least there's scope here for a New Year's resolution. Oh, that's a good idea. New Year's resolutions! There's a good one planned for 2017, and it involves a boat. Somehow, the resolution is that enough money will be saved to pay off a long cruise sometime in late 2017. Yes, a cruise... If it happens, expect a mass of ship-related in about a year's time. Oh, the joys of restful sea travel... How unlikely it is.

Argh, this is quite a difficult one to write. It's late at night in mid-December after a very strange day of endless self-interruptions. Even now, mental discipline is wavering endlessly. It's probably the accumulated effect of all the 'Conan' stories that I've been reading by Robert E Howard. Soon, very soon, there will be a Quirky Muffin on those stories. The writing is excellent, although in the current patch there have been a few too many dark bat-like demon monsters in a short space of time! I suspect it will become more diverse in time, and it's just a consequence of the collected editions printing the texts in internal continuity order instead of the publication sequence. The scope of the 'Conan' stories is cast, but we'll get to it all in good time.

'The Ninja Of Health' rolls on and is tentatively scheduled for completion in the first quarter of 2017. Even now, ideas are failing to percolate, but there is an extremely vague outline rolling around in the brain space.  How do we get mutant carrots from Mars into this narrative, anyway?

Oliver.

Tuesday, 20 December 2016

Story: The Ninja of Health, XXI

( Part XX , XXII )

The Man's first thoughts upon awakening from his unconsciousness were mainly about cheese and acupuncture, This wasn't unprecedented, as there had been several odd related episodes in his training and orientation periods, but it had been a long long time since that particular mental conjunction had come to pass. Then, he opened his weary eyes and looked up at the ceiling, wondering after a few moments why his bed was so uncomfortable.

"Oh, finally, he awakes!" He definitely knew that voice.

"Hush, my friend. Do you not remember your headache?"

*    *    *

Two hours later, our two protagonists were reunited, and looking down at the Oracle with their sage mentor Ken. The prognosticator was not responding to the ball pool therapy. Ken shuffled around uncertainly in the mess, and took his old friend's pulse. "It's a little better," he mused, before peeling up an eyelid, and then touching his forehead in a very precise way. "Did he hurt himself when he fell unconscious?"

"No, he was seated where he had been when warping the cloth." The Woman was just as puzzled.

"I will stay here and observe." Ken waved vaguely toward the kitchen area. "You two had best go out and get some fresh air, AND some groceries. I, for one, have not sausages in far too long a time. Off you go."

"Yes, teacher."

"Yes, sir."

*    *    *

The  trip to the supermarket became a re-orientation and lesson of its own sort. Toddlingham was for the most part deserted, with only a few hollow-eyed people wandering around. They shied away from the two Ninjas when they approached, looking to upset to make contact. The supermarket was slightly better, but still barren. It was inexplicable. In the car park, the duo held hands and wondered what to do.

Returning to the chapel, they found Ken in conversation with someone who wasn't there. He hung up the phone after a quick goodbye, and looked worriedly at their faces. "It's getting worse?" He asked.

"Yes, while we were asleep, the situation has deteriorated badly." The Man replied.

"Right, then we will have to follow the only clue we have." He waved the tablecloth in the air like an flag. "We will have to find out what this means."

To be continued...