It's time to once again tap away on the keys, putting together these words in patterns and structures which are acceptably coherent and not at all reminiscent of train timetables or songs about Quarks and Boojums. Or was it Boojums and Snarks? Or even a third and entirely different option? It has been far too long since I took a peek at 'Alice In Wonderland'! That would be a far betting thing to do than squandering money on board games on Kickstarter, wouldn't it? Wouldn't it? These spending habits are very hard to break!
What did I back on Kickstarter? Well, it's embarrassing, but with the first package actually arriving it might be a good idea to self-shame and hope it ends the binge. 'Card City XL' has already arrived, while the following were funded and will turn up sooner of later: 'The Little Flower Shop', 'Powerships', 'Hardback', 'Ink Monsters', 'Minerva' and the third edition of 'Wok Star'. 'Spy Club' and 'Dice Hospital' will reach their targets too, causing a small earthquake of purchases. The only good part is that all these things will at least make great gifts. Yes, if you can't stop yourself, at least use the proceeds to make other people happier.
The Old Time Radio boom is continuing, here at the home of the Quirky Muffin, with 'Dimension X' also jumping into consideration. It's hard to believe that all these old series are so forgotten now, and absolutely free to check out. Yes, there is a lot of hokiness out there, but there is also a lot of incredible originality from one of the most creative periods in human history. It's pure inventiveness, from back before we began to substitute money in its place. Maybe a similar era can happen again, though? Not identically, as only a fool tries to bring the past back to life as it was, but as a new evolution of how things happen? It seems as if the madness of overwhelming money worship is falling to the side, a little at a time. Of course, it might just be wishful thinking. We'll have to wait and see. It's going to be very difficult to dig a tunnel across to the other trouser leg of history.
Moving on, it's funny to think that the hours of chiselling and banging are all over now, and that primary work on the wood project is all done. Yes, all done. All that remain now are minor adjustment, treating, assembly and painting. Then, it will all be over until it's time to make a bed next year. Yes, a whole bed! What wonders will ensue! Or calamities!
O.
Saturday, 30 September 2017
Thursday, 28 September 2017
Book: 'The Conan Chronicles: Volume 2' by Robert E Howard (originally 1932-1934)
It's hard to not feel a little disappointed, which is a little unfair to the stories in volume two. The standard is still very high, but the final story is so oddly unrepresentative of the rest that it makes the whole experience just a little bit... unsettled.
This collection is dominated by the final story, which gives the collection its name, 'The Hour Of The Dragon'. This story dwarfs every over Conan story in length and scope, and could either be considered the worst or the best of the canon. It's really up to you. In many ways, it functions as a perfect sendoff to the now barbarian king, and in others it's a bizarrely long episodic novella. It's difficult to categorize.
It feels very strange to be favouring the shorter stories in a collection over the one longer example, but here the other stories are much much better. There aren't many, as a lot of space is taken up by the title story, and so volume one has far more diversity than this one. However, the short stories that are here are very nice. The two that stand out are 'Red Nails' and 'Jewels of Gwahlur', both of which are radically different. A lost city inhabited by warring imprisoned clans? A hunt for gems in a temple stuffed full of subhuman creatures and a stalking goddess? The scope and variety of settings found herein is fascinating, and the genius of inventing a lost age of civilization is brilliant, an age that is lost to all but hazy mythology thanks to a natural disaster. That is brilliance.
Most of the really good stuff is in volume one, but this is still worth the experience. Very, very good, apart from the final story?
O.
This collection is dominated by the final story, which gives the collection its name, 'The Hour Of The Dragon'. This story dwarfs every over Conan story in length and scope, and could either be considered the worst or the best of the canon. It's really up to you. In many ways, it functions as a perfect sendoff to the now barbarian king, and in others it's a bizarrely long episodic novella. It's difficult to categorize.
It feels very strange to be favouring the shorter stories in a collection over the one longer example, but here the other stories are much much better. There aren't many, as a lot of space is taken up by the title story, and so volume one has far more diversity than this one. However, the short stories that are here are very nice. The two that stand out are 'Red Nails' and 'Jewels of Gwahlur', both of which are radically different. A lost city inhabited by warring imprisoned clans? A hunt for gems in a temple stuffed full of subhuman creatures and a stalking goddess? The scope and variety of settings found herein is fascinating, and the genius of inventing a lost age of civilization is brilliant, an age that is lost to all but hazy mythology thanks to a natural disaster. That is brilliance.
Most of the really good stuff is in volume one, but this is still worth the experience. Very, very good, apart from the final story?
O.
Tuesday, 26 September 2017
For Almost Every End, We Have A Beginning
The end is in sight for the 2017 woodwork project. Thank goodness! The sheer amount of work involved in making four little bookcases has been mad! Mad! Even with the shaping almost completely done, there will still be the fixing of backs, treating, painting, assembly (not in that order) and all kinds of odd little adjustments. Is it worth it? Is it? It probably is. Today, bookcases. Tomorrow, the world! Mwahahahahahhaha! Mwahahahah--- Enough of that. There's no telling who might get the wrong idea about diabolical cackling.
Ah, the joy of writing on the spur of the moment. It could turn out wonderfully, or it could be total gibberish. It could even be both! That would be a turn-up for the books. Sadly, it's not the right time to write about the conclusion of the 'Conan' stories, which was oddly disappointing and unrepresentative of the whole. That will be for tomorrow, or the following day.
The next year of Open University study is just a day or two away. It's very scary. It's time to get down into the language pit once again, but this time with gusto and determination. Seasonal depression will have to be shunted to one side, so that the beginning of the year goes much more smoothly, or it will all go very oddly indeed. Very oddly. It might set a record.
Oh, in radio news, two new series are added into the Old Time Radio rotation, as the plan to get sucked back into the 1950s by osmosis continues. In addition to 'Richard Diamond', 'The Phil Harris and Alice Faye Show', 'The Jack Benny Program' and 'The Shadow', there are now also 'Suspense' and 'Escape!'. That's quite a powerhouse lineup, all things considered. Oh, oh, we should add the BBC contingent to that list: 'Sherlock Holmes', 'The Navy Lark' and 'Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy'! What else should go on there? We'll have to see.
O.
Ah, the joy of writing on the spur of the moment. It could turn out wonderfully, or it could be total gibberish. It could even be both! That would be a turn-up for the books. Sadly, it's not the right time to write about the conclusion of the 'Conan' stories, which was oddly disappointing and unrepresentative of the whole. That will be for tomorrow, or the following day.
The next year of Open University study is just a day or two away. It's very scary. It's time to get down into the language pit once again, but this time with gusto and determination. Seasonal depression will have to be shunted to one side, so that the beginning of the year goes much more smoothly, or it will all go very oddly indeed. Very oddly. It might set a record.
Oh, in radio news, two new series are added into the Old Time Radio rotation, as the plan to get sucked back into the 1950s by osmosis continues. In addition to 'Richard Diamond', 'The Phil Harris and Alice Faye Show', 'The Jack Benny Program' and 'The Shadow', there are now also 'Suspense' and 'Escape!'. That's quite a powerhouse lineup, all things considered. Oh, oh, we should add the BBC contingent to that list: 'Sherlock Holmes', 'The Navy Lark' and 'Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy'! What else should go on there? We'll have to see.
O.
Sunday, 24 September 2017
Story: 'The Cave' (Idea)
This was a very strange cave. The markings were extraordinary, but there was no other evidence of anyone having actually lived here. Why would that be? It didn't fit with local prehistoric peoples at all. Perhaps there was a clue in the line images. What exactly did they depict, anyway? If you looked at it in a certain way, you could almost interpret them all as pictures of someone making cave paintings, couldn't you? Wouldn't that be very recursive?
Actually, they did look a lot like crude images of someone making cave art. How odd. That was rather subtle an image for such primitive times. Looking around at the opposite wall, there was nothing to be seen at all, just a blank face. Maybe it was the cooking side of the cave. The cooking side of the cave that had no evidence of being inhabited? What was this? I stumbled outside and looked at the entrance and the surrounds once again. This was an isolated site, without any doubt.
Frank came up to me with some results from his analysis. The carbon dating on the pigments on the painting were what really interested us. He looked very confused. "What's up, Frank?"
"These results don't make any sense. They're modern pigments, state of the art in fact." He grimaced pre-emptively. It was obvious what I would have to ask next.
"So? Some New Age types came around and did some cave painting, then."
"The pigments are modern types, but..."
"Oh, out with it!"
"They date to three thousand years ago. They're three thousand year old modern twenty-first century paints."
"Oh, for the love of--!" I stopped myself, and went back for another peep. Frank joined me at the cave entrance. "How are we ever going to work this one out?"
"Don't look at me, Buckaroo."
"I wish we had biscuits."
"Don't we all..."
To be continued?
Actually, they did look a lot like crude images of someone making cave art. How odd. That was rather subtle an image for such primitive times. Looking around at the opposite wall, there was nothing to be seen at all, just a blank face. Maybe it was the cooking side of the cave. The cooking side of the cave that had no evidence of being inhabited? What was this? I stumbled outside and looked at the entrance and the surrounds once again. This was an isolated site, without any doubt.
Frank came up to me with some results from his analysis. The carbon dating on the pigments on the painting were what really interested us. He looked very confused. "What's up, Frank?"
"These results don't make any sense. They're modern pigments, state of the art in fact." He grimaced pre-emptively. It was obvious what I would have to ask next.
"So? Some New Age types came around and did some cave painting, then."
"The pigments are modern types, but..."
"Oh, out with it!"
"They date to three thousand years ago. They're three thousand year old modern twenty-first century paints."
"Oh, for the love of--!" I stopped myself, and went back for another peep. Frank joined me at the cave entrance. "How are we ever going to work this one out?"
"Don't look at me, Buckaroo."
"I wish we had biscuits."
"Don't we all..."
To be continued?
Friday, 22 September 2017
Take A Walk In The Rain
If you're feeling in need of solitude, there's really no better course of action than to take a walk in the rain. It's something that no-one else does. In fact, just by revealing this, I'm jeopardising my own sanctuary from the peoples of the world. However, if you think about it, then it's an unarguable proposition. No-one walks in the rain, with or without their weatherproofs. It's considered to be madness!
It's lovely to wander around in a wholly different medium, listening to the pitter patter of drops on your hood, or indeed the heavy thuds if you happen to be of braver stock. Usually, the time to consider running for shelter is when thunder or lightning begin, or if the impacts that you're hearing are more like crashes than thuds. Crashes, thunder, and lightning are all the things to avoid... Although it is sometimes very dangerously fun to be on the brink. (If you happen to be in a city, you can watch amusedly as people run for shelter at the mere picture of a raindrop, but that's another story, and possibly one about my own prejudice instead of reality.)
The fascinating thing about rainy days, to me, is how much variety there is to be found. Blue skies are very uniform in comparison, barring the time of the year or day. On a rainy day, every factor becomes far more significant. The wind affects the vectors of the rays of water across the landscape. The trees shelter you, except for when the load becomes too large and then they drown you. The temperature and humidity affect the mistiness. The time of year changes the smell and taste of the water in the air. Occasional bursts of sunlight can cause rainbows and brilliants contrasts. Ambience changes the nature of what's around you, and mood becomes embodied in the precipitation and then transformed. It's... magical. You can feel yourself walking through the medium, instead of just ambling through a void. Oh, and you can become different varieties of wet.
The other thing you can do on a country walk in the rain, and this is unique to the activity, is to quite happily talk to yourself. No, we're not discussing active and delusional conversations with imaginary people here, but speeches more in the nature of soliloquies; the verbal form of brainstorming or extemporising a blog post out of the events of a day. You can just let yourself ramble on in a stream of consciousness for a while, secure in the knowledge that no-one else will be along to overhear you. If necessary, you can talk to a horse in a nearby field, if you feel like you need the excuse of a real audience. Note: It's pretty obvious that if we could interview notable horses throughout history, then we could learn more about history than by poring through the accumulated literature of the world. Especially if we added camels too. Oh, all the secrets of the world under one hump, or maybe two.
That's a great place to stop, isn't it? Feeling bored? Need a place to go to be in solitude? Get out your waterproofs, and go for a walk in the rain.
O.
It's lovely to wander around in a wholly different medium, listening to the pitter patter of drops on your hood, or indeed the heavy thuds if you happen to be of braver stock. Usually, the time to consider running for shelter is when thunder or lightning begin, or if the impacts that you're hearing are more like crashes than thuds. Crashes, thunder, and lightning are all the things to avoid... Although it is sometimes very dangerously fun to be on the brink. (If you happen to be in a city, you can watch amusedly as people run for shelter at the mere picture of a raindrop, but that's another story, and possibly one about my own prejudice instead of reality.)
The fascinating thing about rainy days, to me, is how much variety there is to be found. Blue skies are very uniform in comparison, barring the time of the year or day. On a rainy day, every factor becomes far more significant. The wind affects the vectors of the rays of water across the landscape. The trees shelter you, except for when the load becomes too large and then they drown you. The temperature and humidity affect the mistiness. The time of year changes the smell and taste of the water in the air. Occasional bursts of sunlight can cause rainbows and brilliants contrasts. Ambience changes the nature of what's around you, and mood becomes embodied in the precipitation and then transformed. It's... magical. You can feel yourself walking through the medium, instead of just ambling through a void. Oh, and you can become different varieties of wet.
The other thing you can do on a country walk in the rain, and this is unique to the activity, is to quite happily talk to yourself. No, we're not discussing active and delusional conversations with imaginary people here, but speeches more in the nature of soliloquies; the verbal form of brainstorming or extemporising a blog post out of the events of a day. You can just let yourself ramble on in a stream of consciousness for a while, secure in the knowledge that no-one else will be along to overhear you. If necessary, you can talk to a horse in a nearby field, if you feel like you need the excuse of a real audience. Note: It's pretty obvious that if we could interview notable horses throughout history, then we could learn more about history than by poring through the accumulated literature of the world. Especially if we added camels too. Oh, all the secrets of the world under one hump, or maybe two.
That's a great place to stop, isn't it? Feeling bored? Need a place to go to be in solitude? Get out your waterproofs, and go for a walk in the rain.
O.
Wednesday, 20 September 2017
On The Book Piles VIII
What's kicking around on the book piles right now? It's a good question. This feature will become far less frequent once the new year of studies commences in a few weeks, but for now we will have a brief post and try to get it through some very erratic Internet availability.
'Journey To The West v2' by Wu Cheng'En
Finally, the end of volume two is approaching, and with it the halfway point of the epic. Is it really all about Monkey, or is there going to be a shift toward rehabilitating the other three main characters, who have so far been pretty useless bystanders amidst all the manic events? It's a classic episodic epic, but I have no idea how it's all going to resolve over the last two volumes. Many things can happen in well over a thousand tightly packed pages...
'The Voyage Of The Beagle' by Charles Darwin
Lots of progress with the Beagle, and it's becoming more and more enjoyable to read, presumably as a result of Darwin becoming more practiced in his prose? The action is still in South America, with revolutions and unrest in the air, but we'll be moving on soon enough. It's nice to read about flora, fauna, and the environment. And changes in the environment due to generational human interventions. It's all still going on now, if only we could be aware of it.
'The Conan Chronicles v2: The Hour Of The Dragon' by Robert E Howard
It's time for the last story, 'The Hour Of The Dragon', and in a few days it will all be over. There will be no more new Conan stories by Robert E Howard. No more unexpected twists or fusions of mythology into this 'lost age' of human history. Yes, the dark magic is extremely dark and horror-infused, but it's all very enjoyable nonetheless. Once it's all over, these Conan stories will go into the incredibly small subset of short stories that will actually be reread. That's a rare thing indeed.
'Enterprise: The First Adventure' by Vonda N McIntyre
I'm just a few pages into the re-read for this classic 'Star Trek' novel, and it's already a very lovely experience. There are many different versions of the earliest adventures of the famous Enterprise crew, but this one does the best job of fitting as many things together as possible while still being a decent story. In fact, it probably goes too far, as a lot of the continuity disconnect in the earliest episodes could just be written off as typical teething problems. Vonda N McIntyre was one of the classier early authors in the series. Well done so far!
'Galileo's Daughter' by Dava Sobel
No progress since last time, but it will get going once the Beagle's voyage is finished. Well, this and Herodotus. Weighty times ahead.
'The Goddess And The Thief' by Essie Fox
No progress so far. It's just sitting there. Will it be good? I have no idea.
O.
'Journey To The West v2' by Wu Cheng'En
Finally, the end of volume two is approaching, and with it the halfway point of the epic. Is it really all about Monkey, or is there going to be a shift toward rehabilitating the other three main characters, who have so far been pretty useless bystanders amidst all the manic events? It's a classic episodic epic, but I have no idea how it's all going to resolve over the last two volumes. Many things can happen in well over a thousand tightly packed pages...
'The Voyage Of The Beagle' by Charles Darwin
Lots of progress with the Beagle, and it's becoming more and more enjoyable to read, presumably as a result of Darwin becoming more practiced in his prose? The action is still in South America, with revolutions and unrest in the air, but we'll be moving on soon enough. It's nice to read about flora, fauna, and the environment. And changes in the environment due to generational human interventions. It's all still going on now, if only we could be aware of it.
'The Conan Chronicles v2: The Hour Of The Dragon' by Robert E Howard
It's time for the last story, 'The Hour Of The Dragon', and in a few days it will all be over. There will be no more new Conan stories by Robert E Howard. No more unexpected twists or fusions of mythology into this 'lost age' of human history. Yes, the dark magic is extremely dark and horror-infused, but it's all very enjoyable nonetheless. Once it's all over, these Conan stories will go into the incredibly small subset of short stories that will actually be reread. That's a rare thing indeed.
'Enterprise: The First Adventure' by Vonda N McIntyre
I'm just a few pages into the re-read for this classic 'Star Trek' novel, and it's already a very lovely experience. There are many different versions of the earliest adventures of the famous Enterprise crew, but this one does the best job of fitting as many things together as possible while still being a decent story. In fact, it probably goes too far, as a lot of the continuity disconnect in the earliest episodes could just be written off as typical teething problems. Vonda N McIntyre was one of the classier early authors in the series. Well done so far!
'Galileo's Daughter' by Dava Sobel
No progress since last time, but it will get going once the Beagle's voyage is finished. Well, this and Herodotus. Weighty times ahead.
'The Goddess And The Thief' by Essie Fox
No progress so far. It's just sitting there. Will it be good? I have no idea.
O.
Monday, 18 September 2017
State Of The Project
It's a long project. Making four little bookcases requires so many steps as to be ridiculous, but it's nice nonetheless. If it were easy, then it wouldn't be such a good idea to try. In fact, we could make some analogies between building projects, and building confidence in ourselves and others, but it would become pretty forced, pretty quickly.
Right, how exactly does it work? Pay attention, class, as there won't be questions later. In fact, there may not be a later, if the rumours of the potato alien invaders are to be credited. To make one of these little three space cases, the following must take place.
One, and most obviously, you need a plan, which you can then use to know how much wood you need. Then, you need the lumber and the tools. This is all the preparatory work. Oh, and some furniture board to go on the back.
Two, you do your research and work out how to make the joints you're going to use in putting all the pieces together, and assess if you need any bits of equipment. In this case, there have to be four finger joints at the corners of the case, and four dado joints where the shelves meet the frames. Three, you get your nerve together, watch videos of how other people do these joints and use the saws and chisels, and then get down to actual manual work. Yes, manual work! No power tools exist in this world!
Four, we have the sequence of crafting steps. First, you measure and roughly cut the six pieces you need for the piece of furniture, leaving the back until much later in the process. Second, you plane the ends of each piece down to the measured lines as exactly as possible. Third, you mark the portions that need to be cut away for the finger joints and for the dado groove, and make saw incisions where necessary to reduce the amount of chisel work. Fourth, you go crazy with a hammer and chisel, while not hurting yourself too much in the process. Fifth, you treat your pieces. Sixth, you get the backing board, cut it to the required size, and then assemble all the pieces together using screws and good luck. You might have to make adjustments and do more work on the pieces here. If you don't have a work space inside, you may have to wait for weeks between spells of activity here, as rain pours down and all you can do is think idly about how you got all these scrapes, abrasions, back aches and delusions that it's all worthwhile.
Five, you assess what you've done and then... do more work! At this point, you still have to paint and finish, before finally wandering off into the limbo land of not having a woodwork project any more. This is, at the moment, only a fabled Nirvana. It may or may not happen. Oh, and you have to clean all the brushes after the treatments and the paint.
Was that all clear? Essays in the morning, please.
O.
Right, how exactly does it work? Pay attention, class, as there won't be questions later. In fact, there may not be a later, if the rumours of the potato alien invaders are to be credited. To make one of these little three space cases, the following must take place.
One, and most obviously, you need a plan, which you can then use to know how much wood you need. Then, you need the lumber and the tools. This is all the preparatory work. Oh, and some furniture board to go on the back.
Two, you do your research and work out how to make the joints you're going to use in putting all the pieces together, and assess if you need any bits of equipment. In this case, there have to be four finger joints at the corners of the case, and four dado joints where the shelves meet the frames. Three, you get your nerve together, watch videos of how other people do these joints and use the saws and chisels, and then get down to actual manual work. Yes, manual work! No power tools exist in this world!
Four, we have the sequence of crafting steps. First, you measure and roughly cut the six pieces you need for the piece of furniture, leaving the back until much later in the process. Second, you plane the ends of each piece down to the measured lines as exactly as possible. Third, you mark the portions that need to be cut away for the finger joints and for the dado groove, and make saw incisions where necessary to reduce the amount of chisel work. Fourth, you go crazy with a hammer and chisel, while not hurting yourself too much in the process. Fifth, you treat your pieces. Sixth, you get the backing board, cut it to the required size, and then assemble all the pieces together using screws and good luck. You might have to make adjustments and do more work on the pieces here. If you don't have a work space inside, you may have to wait for weeks between spells of activity here, as rain pours down and all you can do is think idly about how you got all these scrapes, abrasions, back aches and delusions that it's all worthwhile.
Five, you assess what you've done and then... do more work! At this point, you still have to paint and finish, before finally wandering off into the limbo land of not having a woodwork project any more. This is, at the moment, only a fabled Nirvana. It may or may not happen. Oh, and you have to clean all the brushes after the treatments and the paint.
Was that all clear? Essays in the morning, please.
O.
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