What's that, you say? The world is going to be overrun by Blue Banana despots from Planet Z? What kind of madness is this? Could it be true?
Some days ago, while idly picking blackberries from idle hedgerows, one of the top carrier pigeons used by those accursed herbal dictators dropped its message in my basket, and the truth was revealed. What a devastating truth it is!
Long ago, in the 1970s, a delegation of Blue Bananas infiltrated the British botanical gardens under the cover of hybridisation trials. These Bananas promptly developed a network of crack espionage agents by mind control of greengrocers, before spreading out into Europe and North America, and then the world.
Apparently, the Bananas aim to rule by stealth, with the eventual aim of converting the whole world to Blue Banana worship, a tactical move to avert the eventual evolution of our yellow bananas to a sentient and spacefaring species, a species prophesied to rule benevolently where the Blue Bananas have conquered. Oh, so many planets decimated by their Tripods, so many economies undermined by planned herb gluts, and so many agents lost to atomic banana peels...
Yes, we must somehow stop the Blue Bananas of Planet Z, but how? Where will we find their weakness? Can the world be saved? Can Planet Z be reached? Who can reach Buckingham Palace with the Rubber Nose and Groucho glasses of victory? Will releasing the Prime Minister from servitude make things better or worse?
People of the world, unite, and put your petty differences aside. It is time for liberty! Down with the Blue Bananas!
O.
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