Saturday, 3 May 2014

The Antecedent

(Written far in advance. En route to Amsterdam.)

This is not my first blog, in fact 'The Quirky Muffin' is a legacy weblog, inheriting its address from the now long-dormant `Mighty Clomp'. The 'Mighty Clomp' inherited its name from one of my sister's and my favourite toys, who was known as The Clomp. The Clomp, quite apart from being deliciously nasty, powerful and exiled also has the unfortunate tendency to get carried away, and once spent a month on the bottom of the sea because "it would be nice to get away from it all and chat with a squid". He also monologues, which will seemingly always be a problem for maniacal super villains. He sits on a stack of books not very far away even now, chuckling about the things he plans to do should he ever stop being incredibly lazy and addicted to writing false memoirs. The books are by Jim Davis.

antecedent: something that happened or existed before something else and is similar to it in some way

The Mighty Clomp was therefore the antecedent of the Muffin, and in many ways they are similar. Also in many ways they are quite dissimilar. Where the Muffin is fairly anonymised and generally depersonalised (or at least as much as it can be while still remaining a blog), the Clomp was a much more inappropriate place to be. Fortunately no-one was there and it collapsed rapidly under the weight of a total paucity of events and an author with a background devoid of anything but books and Star Trek. While this blog is determinedly adirectional, the Clomp was aimless but it is missed in the tiniest crevices of the author's heart. At least it lives on in the smallest ways, and the real (comparatively 'more real') Clomp sits on his stack and sings German drinking songs still.

As you read this I'm far, far away and preparing for a length journey to Amsterdam via bus, rail and ferry. If you encounter someone in the next few days in Amsterdam, maybe on a bicycle and looking lost maybe you should offer them a cheese in the hopes of reviving the spirits. In more general terms, I strongly advise tolerance for passing cyclists or crazy people in your swimming pool. They might be me! Especially if they have a bicycle AND are in the pool. There's a reason why I have to leave Britain! It's not all holidays and parental anniversaries.

Amsterdam... land of bike paths and swimming pools, and other things best left uninvestigated. If you're interested, please try to read 'Yes Man' by Danny Wallace before I get to writing about it! Amsterdam features very prominantly, as does a little dog. Intrigued?


PS It's hard to believe that this silly little personal challenge of a blog has been going for more than three hundred entries, and is still just as random and nonsensical as it has ever been. Even now there are seven different files open, each with a different heading and silly idea attached. And they're all manifestly terrible. More than three hundred entries and the quality's still somewhere between debatable and deplorable. Que sera, sera, loonies.

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