In the park

(Posted a day late)

Parks are wonderful, and country parks even better. If there is one thing that we surely have more of than anywhere else in the world then it must be the gentile parks, estates and green space of all descriptions. It is the greatest legacy of all those generations of noble and aristocratic families that we now get to enjoy those wonderful spaces all over the country (for a fee of course), with the multitudes of nature trails and paths that make them little holidays of exploration on every visit. Do you think those generations of landowners would approve? I certainly do, having spent so much time at Gelli Aur, Pembrey and even University Park at Nottingham. (Also, Longleat.)

Was that serious enough? Is it time to move on? Are the purists happy? Good. This post is being written in Newstead Abbey, historical home of the legendarily wild Lord Byron. I must at this point categorically state that there are no giant Lord Byron robots stalking the grounds and occasionally doing duck walks. That is absolutely not happening, and any such news reports are certainly wrong. As part of 'responsible person' training, imposed by the municipal authorities after being caught dancing round streetlights in the rain, I am in Nottingham visiting my leafdaughter (atheistic goddaughter) for a couple of days and once again being reminded of the various Nottingham-related things left behind long ago. It's fortunate that Aberystwyth is much prettier as a town than the city here is!

So, Newstead Abbey, a typical country park and estate. What are the best things to do in these places? In general there are gardens and nature trails and occasionally deer or birds of various unusual kinds. Again, there are not usually Lord Byron robots bearing down on you with laser light building up in their glowing giant buttenhole flowers. That's just a nonsense. Also, the tufted ducks were not genetically manipulated by aliens to confuse us all into submission. In country parks the best thing to do is to stumble around and follow the various coloured trails until there is nothing left to see and your legs are so tired that you have to collapse on the grass and watch the clouds drift over without end until everything feels better. After that you can then go to the cafe and not buy any thing due to it all being cake and look fruitlessly for bookmarks in the shop before preferably going home. I wish places still sold bookmarks. It's sad they're gone. You used to be able to get a leather bookmark from everywhere! Oh, pointless nostalgia, I slay you now.

Of course all country parks and rural retreats are harder to access for non-driving individuals. In opposition to all things written here I horribly haven't visited a country park or been able to for many years. Perhaps the proximity of so many to Nottingham is one of the few things that Nottingham and its area can truly hold over Aberystwyth. That and having a Wilkingson.

O.

PS At some point it would be nice if someone wrote a series of novels about a space travelling Lord Byron, the scourge of the cosmos, and his misadventures and scandals travelling the spaceways in search of inspiration.