The Red Herring

The term 'red herring' is wonderfully evocative without really meaning anything. It's much nicer than 'maguffin', as used by the infamous Hitchcock. Supposedly, the term 'red herring' originated in one way or another as part of the trick of using a kipper to divert hounds while hunting, although I have no idea how a fox or hare would have found the kipper to begin with. That seems to be the hole in the logic for that explanation!

What is a red herring? Well, it's normally not a kipper, which is the literal definition. A red herring is a clue or piece of information which leads someone down the wrong track, if you can stand the mixing of metaphors. In its most usual context, it is the piece of information in a mystery which points the audience and sometimes the detective at entirely the wrong suspect or theory, only for the truth to be revealed much later in the narrative. However, we do have red herrings in real life. Every time we choose one path in life, only to change to another more appropriate one, we have been pursuing the red herring. Again, it doesn't seem possible to actually pursue a kipper, but who am I to really know. Maybe it's tied to a skateboard?

In reality, a lot of our aims in life end up being red herrings. There are no magical reasons for our individual existences, although I do envy those who have vocations and callings to their professions which seem to fill that void. All those quests for money, prestige and fame don't really mean anything, after all. They're just the maguffins. Sometimes you're better off going for a smaller job and being happy with it.

Getting away from maguffins of the smoked fish variety - although it would be very easy to go on, and on, and then further on again, before invoking 'The Butler Did It' in a final push to the end - it's an odd time of year. The whole of last week was spent in adjustment to the dreaded Daylight Savings Time, my calendrical nemesis. Is there any historical red herring more egregious than Daylight Savings Time, especially one which is yet to be discovered? How can this still go on? It's madness! "I say, Jenks, shall we adjust everyone's clocks so that they can get more sunlight, instead of just letting them get on with their lives any way that they like?" "Yes, Joan, and let's chortle at all the body clock distress and confusion that ensues."

Mutter mutter mutter red herrings grumble grumble.

O.