Thursday 4 January 2018

Team Tortoise

We are proud members of Team Tortoise here at the Quirky Muffin. It's not entirely voluntary membership, as any attempt to do anything quickly promptly devolves into attempts to repair damage and or throw water on social infernos. There can be no rushing when you have less luck than a stranger in a small town who has unwittingly had 'lunatic' written on the back of his coat, and is being stalked by people with butterfly nets. Explosive butterfly nets. No, there will be no rushing, even though there should be when you are several hours behind schedule, and trying to write a few words for your weblog before pushing off to Sleepy Sleepy Land.

Ah, Sleepy Sleepy Land. How strange it is to think about being asleep. For more than a third of each day, if you sleep as much as you are supposed to, you are completely oblivious to everything and saved from the stresses and toils of everyday life. How lucky we are. What a marvelous invention sleep must have been, back at the evolutionary/divine design shop. What a jolly old laugh they all must have had, before hard wiring a diurnal rhythm into our DNA, alongside the ageing process and a tendency to enjoy things which are no good for us at all. There were probably party snacks and balloons as a celebration!

'Team Tortoise' has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? We could have baseball caps, depicting a cuddly tortoise wearing a fez. Why a fez? Because, once upon a time, fezzes were cool. To reproduce Gene Wilder's performance from 'Young Frankenstein', it is time to write: 'This... could... WORK!' Mild and accidental rephrasing may have occurred.

What would be the aims of Team Tortoise? Would it simply be a show of solidarity for all those people who don't want to bodge things or make a hash of anything rushed, or would this be an evangelical exercise? Would we want to go out into the world, and start a testudinian revolution? We could march, very slowly, for a more measured and silly way of things, and distribute hats. This... could... work...

Also, we could have a twinned movement called Team Turtle, who would be exactly the same except for the fezzes. They could have snorkels instead?

Why be serious, when you can write about tortoises instead?

Happy New Year from the Quirky Muffin.

O.

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