'Mission: Impossible' is kicking off a three-part story to the right of the screen, and 'The A-Team' just helped keep my mother happy. A life lived by television doesn't leave much time for reading! The new 'combat' version of Minecraft has also been released and is unfortunately much, much nastier than it used to be. Beware those skeletons, people of the world. In book world, 'Kai Lung Unrolls His Mat' is finally in its closing pages, while the wait continues on various job opportunities. Waiting is the hardest part of anything.
Tutoring mathematics is a fascinating activity, as lots of the progress is made when you're not there. It seems that the main part of the job is to explain things in such a way that their schoolwork suddenly becomes intelligible and the homework becomes easy. It's not as easy as it sounds, but instilling confidence isn't too bad at GCSE or below as you just have to show them the exams! It is very dispiriting to get to a year three or year four primary student and find out that their school hasn't even done fractions yet, though. That's the rough end of the tutoring stick. There's no way that that can be good!
Oh, if only we could teach numeracy and mathematics well across the board. It, along with literacy, would fix so many problems. Those two things really do form a 'silver bullet' set to eliminate the werewolf of ignorance. If I could just flood all the schools with buckets of great, and probably unapproved books and have them stay, it would make an amazing difference.
Oh, but this is not a time to be serious. The sun is long gone, and the Earth continues to spin, even as it rotates about the Sun, which in turns circles the centre of the galaxy, which is itself moving away from the notional centre of the universe. Think for a moment about just how absurd this all is, as we zoom through space at cosmic speed! That absurdity is the key to going to sleep with with a smile on your face. It's all utterly daft!
O.
Wednesday, 2 March 2016
Monday, 29 February 2016
Film: 'Flash Gordon' (1980)
"Check the angular vector of the moon!"
Why not write about 'Flash Gordon' again? It's a monumental achievement, produced by a madman, part improvised on the fly, and scored by rock geniuses. There are quotes aplenty and a blockbuster role for Brian Blessed. Oh, and there are guards with very literal 'hand-guns'. Mwahahaha. 'Flash Gordon' is the stuff that dreams are made of, and the classical comic book movie. It may indeed be the only perfect comic strip movie, and one indelibly and beautifully engraved on the mind's eye. Does it make sense? No, it's total nonsense, but its heart is in the right place, and there is internal sense throughout.
"Flying blind on a rocket cycle?"
Of course, this is not a film to watch if you have problems with Brian Blessed in golden wings and a spiky helmet. It's not a film to be taken seriously on any level, and is really a pure romance of the old definition masquerading as an action film. The costumes are a sight to behold, with masks, capes and brocade aplenty, as supplied by the grand costumiers of Italy. The influence of the old movie serials is clear to see, and the brilliance of the costumes and sets is thrilling.
"Pathetic Earthlings."
Added to the incredible production values, you get Timothy Dalton a few years before his James Bond years, Max von Sydow going through the full gamut of theatricality as chief villain Ming the Merciless, and an American football fight sequence that has to be seen to be believed. Everything is interesting in some way in 'Flash Gordon', even the corny romance at its core. To borrow from one of the film's DVD commentaries, the film is fascinatingly 'pure', and the purity it possesses allows anything to become acceptable. In the world of 'Flash Gordon', an hourglass that runs against gravity is barely noteworthy.
"Flash, I love you! But we only have 14 hours to save the Earth!"
Oh, if only Queen could have scored more movies. Their work on 'Flash Gordon' is astonishing in places, although I'm not sure if they're responsible for the more orchestral pieces. There are transcendent moments, especially when the rocket ship is drifting through space or the gas is wafting into the execution chamber. It's a film that is actually scored very subtly, even when taking the theme song into account. It all works, drawn together by invisible glue and a measure of insanity.
"A-ha! I thought it was one of the prime numbers of the Zeeman series. I haven't changed!"
'Flash Gordon' is often described as campy. I have no idea what 'campy' means, though, and prefer to think about it in other terms. It's innocent but racy, colourful and daft, epic adventure and goofball romance, indescribable and filled with style, and totally coherent despite being often quite nonsensical. If all those things sound good, then you have to watch 'Flash Gordon'!
"Will it make me forget?" "No, but it will make you not mind remembering."
O
Why not write about 'Flash Gordon' again? It's a monumental achievement, produced by a madman, part improvised on the fly, and scored by rock geniuses. There are quotes aplenty and a blockbuster role for Brian Blessed. Oh, and there are guards with very literal 'hand-guns'. Mwahahaha. 'Flash Gordon' is the stuff that dreams are made of, and the classical comic book movie. It may indeed be the only perfect comic strip movie, and one indelibly and beautifully engraved on the mind's eye. Does it make sense? No, it's total nonsense, but its heart is in the right place, and there is internal sense throughout.
"Flying blind on a rocket cycle?"
Of course, this is not a film to watch if you have problems with Brian Blessed in golden wings and a spiky helmet. It's not a film to be taken seriously on any level, and is really a pure romance of the old definition masquerading as an action film. The costumes are a sight to behold, with masks, capes and brocade aplenty, as supplied by the grand costumiers of Italy. The influence of the old movie serials is clear to see, and the brilliance of the costumes and sets is thrilling.
"Pathetic Earthlings."
Added to the incredible production values, you get Timothy Dalton a few years before his James Bond years, Max von Sydow going through the full gamut of theatricality as chief villain Ming the Merciless, and an American football fight sequence that has to be seen to be believed. Everything is interesting in some way in 'Flash Gordon', even the corny romance at its core. To borrow from one of the film's DVD commentaries, the film is fascinatingly 'pure', and the purity it possesses allows anything to become acceptable. In the world of 'Flash Gordon', an hourglass that runs against gravity is barely noteworthy.
"Flash, I love you! But we only have 14 hours to save the Earth!"
Oh, if only Queen could have scored more movies. Their work on 'Flash Gordon' is astonishing in places, although I'm not sure if they're responsible for the more orchestral pieces. There are transcendent moments, especially when the rocket ship is drifting through space or the gas is wafting into the execution chamber. It's a film that is actually scored very subtly, even when taking the theme song into account. It all works, drawn together by invisible glue and a measure of insanity.
"A-ha! I thought it was one of the prime numbers of the Zeeman series. I haven't changed!"
'Flash Gordon' is often described as campy. I have no idea what 'campy' means, though, and prefer to think about it in other terms. It's innocent but racy, colourful and daft, epic adventure and goofball romance, indescribable and filled with style, and totally coherent despite being often quite nonsensical. If all those things sound good, then you have to watch 'Flash Gordon'!
"Will it make me forget?" "No, but it will make you not mind remembering."
O
Saturday, 27 February 2016
Words On A Saturday
Another day, another post to write, and another blank mind to overcome. On another day this could be the latest reading overview, but not today. Today has to be about writing in the stream, and never wavering from that path. Yes, I could wander off on tangents like 'Sapphire And Steel', 'The Six Million Dollar', 'Going Postal' or Rimsky-Korsakov, but who can say for sure? Actually, it was really nice to listen to some Rimsky-Korsakov on Youtube recently, the great piece known as 'Scheherazade', named for the character in 'The Thousand And One Nights'. It was breathtaking. Classical music can often be breathtaking, if you allow it to be.
It is a Saturday, the day named after Saturn, the Roman god of agriculture. It's lovely to think that we retain such names, the other notable one being Thursday, named after Thor the Norse god of Thunder. Where do the other day names refer to? They're interesting and less obvious, and worthy of being investigated...
Again, it is a Saturday, and things are slow. Last time, the story 'Diary Of A Laundry Robot' was extended, and is proving rather fun to write. It's fun to write about laundry robots in an alternate dimension's future, co-opted to clean the hats of pan-dimensional history wardens. The randomness is fun.
There will be more words on another day, but for now no more.
O.
It is a Saturday, the day named after Saturn, the Roman god of agriculture. It's lovely to think that we retain such names, the other notable one being Thursday, named after Thor the Norse god of Thunder. Where do the other day names refer to? They're interesting and less obvious, and worthy of being investigated...
Again, it is a Saturday, and things are slow. Last time, the story 'Diary Of A Laundry Robot' was extended, and is proving rather fun to write. It's fun to write about laundry robots in an alternate dimension's future, co-opted to clean the hats of pan-dimensional history wardens. The randomness is fun.
There will be more words on another day, but for now no more.
O.
Thursday, 25 February 2016
Story: 'Diary of a Laundry Robot', Week VI
( Week V , Week VII )
Saturday
A week off. It's a mystifying concept. Even as I write this entry, the idea of not working and simultaneously not being down for recharge and maintenance is boggling. Supervisor Querg said I would get used to it, once my logic circuits have readjusted, and gave me a guide book for this part of the Continuum. Celia and I have spent the morning taking turns reading the book and coming up with ideas for exploration. Soon, we will set out into the great unknown without an escort for the first time.
Sunday
The Quergs live in a strange place. Apparently, as custodians of space, time and history, their space is only tangentially connected to the rest of the universe. When we were out exploring yesterday, before we were overcome by the sheer freedom of it all, we saw the Vault of Secret Pages, the Book Maker's Mansion, the five great Stones of Predestiny, and the Cacaphonic Monument to the Indices of the Clomp. What could we possibly do with the remaining days? Throughout, we saw all the Clomps going about their business, in their grand variety of hats and bobbles. There were no neckties. Celia owes me two energon cubes, should we ever return to our old home.
Tuesday
I have rested voluntarily for the first time. It was a strange experience. Apparently, people do this all the time? The Quergs rest by reading a good book, and telling stories about their adventures in and around the time space continuum or their grand Hat Making Village. The people in our old home would relax by grand traditions and rituals, none of which made any sense, and mostly revolved around kicking balls around or spraying fake feathers at the newest celebrities. Today, which stretches abundantly before us, is currently free, and I think it would be a good thing to check on our laundry facility, so recently established.
Wednesday
Someone was lurking outside our laundry building. I watched them lurking. It wasn't a Querg, and it wasn't Celia. Who would want to watch an empty laundry, in between shifts of washing for the Bureau of History? It seems nonsensical, almost as nonsensical as being whisked away to this timeless space beyond that of our old world. Later, once we enter Quergish Day Time, I will approach my supervisor, Querg by name, and tell him about all of this. I'm sure they will be interested. Celia certainly was, and declared me rather brave in my attempt to follow the lurker when they eventually left last night. Sadly, laundry robots aren't designed for stealth or speed and the suspicious surveiller escaped. I worry that Celia is becoming far too effusive in her admiration. Sigh.
Friday
Querg was fascinated by my story yesterday, and security has been upgraded around the Bureau Laundry site. Apparently, it should be impossible for any beings to enter the Querg Continuum uninvited, but his expression was uncertain when he imparted that information, and the jingle of his hat bell muted. Celia and I concluded the last weekday of our holiday with a guided tour of the Hat Making Village, where we saw the famous Head Maker himself. She presented us with a framed illustration of all the hat varieties work by the Quergs, which we will proudly hang in the laundry. The weekend looms, and we will have some time with our maintenance Querg. Hopefully, the lurker will not return.
To be continued...
Saturday
A week off. It's a mystifying concept. Even as I write this entry, the idea of not working and simultaneously not being down for recharge and maintenance is boggling. Supervisor Querg said I would get used to it, once my logic circuits have readjusted, and gave me a guide book for this part of the Continuum. Celia and I have spent the morning taking turns reading the book and coming up with ideas for exploration. Soon, we will set out into the great unknown without an escort for the first time.
Sunday
The Quergs live in a strange place. Apparently, as custodians of space, time and history, their space is only tangentially connected to the rest of the universe. When we were out exploring yesterday, before we were overcome by the sheer freedom of it all, we saw the Vault of Secret Pages, the Book Maker's Mansion, the five great Stones of Predestiny, and the Cacaphonic Monument to the Indices of the Clomp. What could we possibly do with the remaining days? Throughout, we saw all the Clomps going about their business, in their grand variety of hats and bobbles. There were no neckties. Celia owes me two energon cubes, should we ever return to our old home.
Tuesday
I have rested voluntarily for the first time. It was a strange experience. Apparently, people do this all the time? The Quergs rest by reading a good book, and telling stories about their adventures in and around the time space continuum or their grand Hat Making Village. The people in our old home would relax by grand traditions and rituals, none of which made any sense, and mostly revolved around kicking balls around or spraying fake feathers at the newest celebrities. Today, which stretches abundantly before us, is currently free, and I think it would be a good thing to check on our laundry facility, so recently established.
Wednesday
Someone was lurking outside our laundry building. I watched them lurking. It wasn't a Querg, and it wasn't Celia. Who would want to watch an empty laundry, in between shifts of washing for the Bureau of History? It seems nonsensical, almost as nonsensical as being whisked away to this timeless space beyond that of our old world. Later, once we enter Quergish Day Time, I will approach my supervisor, Querg by name, and tell him about all of this. I'm sure they will be interested. Celia certainly was, and declared me rather brave in my attempt to follow the lurker when they eventually left last night. Sadly, laundry robots aren't designed for stealth or speed and the suspicious surveiller escaped. I worry that Celia is becoming far too effusive in her admiration. Sigh.
Friday
Querg was fascinated by my story yesterday, and security has been upgraded around the Bureau Laundry site. Apparently, it should be impossible for any beings to enter the Querg Continuum uninvited, but his expression was uncertain when he imparted that information, and the jingle of his hat bell muted. Celia and I concluded the last weekday of our holiday with a guided tour of the Hat Making Village, where we saw the famous Head Maker himself. She presented us with a framed illustration of all the hat varieties work by the Quergs, which we will proudly hang in the laundry. The weekend looms, and we will have some time with our maintenance Querg. Hopefully, the lurker will not return.
To be continued...
Tuesday, 23 February 2016
A World Of Napkins And A Pineapple
It's not impossible. This is an achievable task. Somehow, I will write this post and eventually finish reading 'Kai Lunk Unrolls His Mat'. It's not a bad book, and this is not a difficult thing to write. They are not impossible, and therefore definitely tractable problems. Oh, for a world of napkins and a pineapple!
A world of napkins and a pineapple? Is this madness on the page? No, not at all. You need the world of napkins, preferably orbiting between Earth and Mars, in order to soak up the vast amount of electromagnetic soup we aim at that serene other world, and the probes that have been crawling over it. Yes, a world of napkins... The pineapple? Well, you eat that, of course. What a funny question to ask! Yes, the world might be coming apart at at the seams, but we would still eat the pineapple, or use it to power nuclear fusion.
These are what we might call 'interesting times' and our curse is to be living in them. Things will change radically over the next few months, and no-one can quite say how. Whatever happens, we can only hope that they change based on reasoning, rationality and philanthropy, and not xenophobia, hatred or corporate puppetry. Yes, a lifetime of cynical experience of the real world must be proven incorrect.
'Eli's Coming' said Dan Rydell on 'Sports Night', and we'll have to see if he's right. I'll explain more in a couple of days. Now, in defence of 'Kai Lung Unrolls His Mat', I have to say that every individual story in the book is very well written, but... Well, there's no point in repeating my frequent rant about the difficulties of reading short stories. These are really good. Maybe I need therapy? Short story therapy? Is that possible? Oh, this is the penalty of consistently putting off short story collections until they're the only things left in the box of unread books! It's literary karma!
The first season of 'Sports Night' (see Dan Rydell remark) has been wonderful to watch again. The second season still sounds miserable and messed up, though, so it will continue to be passed over. Such is the way of things. You see, what they really needed to introduce was a world of napkins and a pineapple, or a mango if they couldn't find that sainted fruit. Mangos are allowable in leap years, or months which end in a 'y'.
O.
A world of napkins and a pineapple? Is this madness on the page? No, not at all. You need the world of napkins, preferably orbiting between Earth and Mars, in order to soak up the vast amount of electromagnetic soup we aim at that serene other world, and the probes that have been crawling over it. Yes, a world of napkins... The pineapple? Well, you eat that, of course. What a funny question to ask! Yes, the world might be coming apart at at the seams, but we would still eat the pineapple, or use it to power nuclear fusion.
These are what we might call 'interesting times' and our curse is to be living in them. Things will change radically over the next few months, and no-one can quite say how. Whatever happens, we can only hope that they change based on reasoning, rationality and philanthropy, and not xenophobia, hatred or corporate puppetry. Yes, a lifetime of cynical experience of the real world must be proven incorrect.
'Eli's Coming' said Dan Rydell on 'Sports Night', and we'll have to see if he's right. I'll explain more in a couple of days. Now, in defence of 'Kai Lung Unrolls His Mat', I have to say that every individual story in the book is very well written, but... Well, there's no point in repeating my frequent rant about the difficulties of reading short stories. These are really good. Maybe I need therapy? Short story therapy? Is that possible? Oh, this is the penalty of consistently putting off short story collections until they're the only things left in the box of unread books! It's literary karma!
The first season of 'Sports Night' (see Dan Rydell remark) has been wonderful to watch again. The second season still sounds miserable and messed up, though, so it will continue to be passed over. Such is the way of things. You see, what they really needed to introduce was a world of napkins and a pineapple, or a mango if they couldn't find that sainted fruit. Mangos are allowable in leap years, or months which end in a 'y'.
O.
Sunday, 21 February 2016
Television: 'Taxi: Season 1' (1978-1979)
To date, I've only seen the first season of the legendary series 'Taxi', that ran for five seasons from 1978. It's legendary for a reason, and that reason is evident from the very beginning. 'Taxi' is goofy but simultaneously real. There is no way that this show can be confused with any other sitcom, as they all exist in variously paradisaical dimensions. Bad things happen in 'Taxi', and they're not always offset by other better things.
We'll do each season, one-by-one, here on the Quirky Muffin, although it will take a long time. By the end, the series will have transformed completely, with several character replacements, a change in network, and a renovation of the barking mad Andy Kaufman character of Latka Graves. For now, in season one, we have an extremely brave production which goes places unknown to other shows. Obesity and poor self-image, career woes, pill addiction, elopement, and various other less serious issues vie for story time as the drivers at Sunshine Cabs go through their lives, trying to make it big in their chosen careers while living on driving money, and routinely failing to escape.
This is the season which boosted Danny DeVito into the big time, reinforced Judd Hirsch as a television star, and showcased the weirdness of Andy Kaufman. Along with Marilu Henner, Jeff Conaway, Tony Danzer and Randall Carver, they form a solid cast that could cope with almost any setting. Yes, Carver would leave at the end of the season and take his naive character with him, and Conaway would thankfully take my least favourite character away after the third season. For now, however, everyone does his part, and builds up the show for what will be a great second year, and one which we get a preview of when Christopher Lloyd makes his debut mid-season. What is this deal with his Reverend Jim, anyway?
It's gritty, packs an emotional punch, has a few clunkers (mostly involving Conaway's Bobby Wheeler), and has a heart of gold. We'll wrap this up with the Quirky Muffin's highlights of season one: (1) 'Like Father, Like Daughter', the first episode in which series lead Hirsch's Alex is reunited with his daughter; (11 and 12) 'Memories of Cab 804', in which Tom Selleck appears in one of the stories; (20) 'Alex Tastes Death and Finds a Nice Restaurant', in which Alex has a crisis and becomes a waiter.
It's a solid season of a show that hits some spots no other comedy would think to reach for. What will come in future years? Christopher Lloyd...
O.
We'll do each season, one-by-one, here on the Quirky Muffin, although it will take a long time. By the end, the series will have transformed completely, with several character replacements, a change in network, and a renovation of the barking mad Andy Kaufman character of Latka Graves. For now, in season one, we have an extremely brave production which goes places unknown to other shows. Obesity and poor self-image, career woes, pill addiction, elopement, and various other less serious issues vie for story time as the drivers at Sunshine Cabs go through their lives, trying to make it big in their chosen careers while living on driving money, and routinely failing to escape.
This is the season which boosted Danny DeVito into the big time, reinforced Judd Hirsch as a television star, and showcased the weirdness of Andy Kaufman. Along with Marilu Henner, Jeff Conaway, Tony Danzer and Randall Carver, they form a solid cast that could cope with almost any setting. Yes, Carver would leave at the end of the season and take his naive character with him, and Conaway would thankfully take my least favourite character away after the third season. For now, however, everyone does his part, and builds up the show for what will be a great second year, and one which we get a preview of when Christopher Lloyd makes his debut mid-season. What is this deal with his Reverend Jim, anyway?
It's gritty, packs an emotional punch, has a few clunkers (mostly involving Conaway's Bobby Wheeler), and has a heart of gold. We'll wrap this up with the Quirky Muffin's highlights of season one: (1) 'Like Father, Like Daughter', the first episode in which series lead Hirsch's Alex is reunited with his daughter; (11 and 12) 'Memories of Cab 804', in which Tom Selleck appears in one of the stories; (20) 'Alex Tastes Death and Finds a Nice Restaurant', in which Alex has a crisis and becomes a waiter.
It's a solid season of a show that hits some spots no other comedy would think to reach for. What will come in future years? Christopher Lloyd...
O.
Friday, 19 February 2016
The Prospect Is Greater Than The Reality
Planning trips is far more enjoyable than actually making them. This is a personal truth. The act of working out trips, without flying, such that all the various legs fit together economically (or decadently), can be engrossing. Yes, you can get the cruise back from Santander in Spain to Portsmouth in the United Kingdom, but if you do then there won't be any coaches to get you home, so it will have to be trains. The trains are more expensive, though. Perhaps staying overnight would be better? Can you spare the night? Hmm. Is it easier to sail into Plymouth? Or stop off in Roscoff? Does changing boats in Roscoff make sense? Ooh, that may be more interesting. Yes, if you want to get lost in a barrel full of timetables, juggling fares and interchanges as you go, then planning a surface trip is the option to take.
The options are endless once you include all of coaches, trains and ships, and all the boisterous combinations that ensue. For example, if you want to go to the South of France, and choose the train, then you are almost certainly condemned to crossing both London and Paris in one day by their respective undergrounds, unless you happen to choose the one direct (well, there is more than one outside of the Winter months) train to Marseille from London each week. However, if you do that, or get a Eurolines coach, then you have to start from London before breakfast, which requires staying over, and then things escalate again. Or, if you're going to Switzerland, you should try to book any journeys crossing Germany only between stations in Germany because the prices will be cheaper. The loopholes and contingencies go on for ever!
Returning to trains for a moment, crossing London and Paris in one day is quite a gruelling experience. It shouldn't be, but it is. I, for one, would do almost anything to avoid it. There are options, and my apologies go out to anyone utterly disinterested in travel talk, and they mostly involve Brussels or the awesomeness of sea travel. Yes, there are legions of ferries that go to France, and an especially lovely cruise ferry that goes to the Hook of Holland from Harwich, if you're interested in all the other parts of Europe. You can get around Paris, although the computers do relentlessly try to force you through Paris, and Barcelona if you go into the Iberian Peninsula. There are other options, but you have to micro-manage, and go step by step. Paris can be beaten!
Yes, travelling is far less fun than the planning. Break out your spreadsheets, and give it a try. Useful websites include www.seat61.com, www.loco2.com, www.directferries.co.uk, www.eurolines.co.uk/ and of course www.quidco.co.uk for getting cashback on all the purchases!
Here endeth the lesson,
O.
The options are endless once you include all of coaches, trains and ships, and all the boisterous combinations that ensue. For example, if you want to go to the South of France, and choose the train, then you are almost certainly condemned to crossing both London and Paris in one day by their respective undergrounds, unless you happen to choose the one direct (well, there is more than one outside of the Winter months) train to Marseille from London each week. However, if you do that, or get a Eurolines coach, then you have to start from London before breakfast, which requires staying over, and then things escalate again. Or, if you're going to Switzerland, you should try to book any journeys crossing Germany only between stations in Germany because the prices will be cheaper. The loopholes and contingencies go on for ever!
Returning to trains for a moment, crossing London and Paris in one day is quite a gruelling experience. It shouldn't be, but it is. I, for one, would do almost anything to avoid it. There are options, and my apologies go out to anyone utterly disinterested in travel talk, and they mostly involve Brussels or the awesomeness of sea travel. Yes, there are legions of ferries that go to France, and an especially lovely cruise ferry that goes to the Hook of Holland from Harwich, if you're interested in all the other parts of Europe. You can get around Paris, although the computers do relentlessly try to force you through Paris, and Barcelona if you go into the Iberian Peninsula. There are other options, but you have to micro-manage, and go step by step. Paris can be beaten!
Yes, travelling is far less fun than the planning. Break out your spreadsheets, and give it a try. Useful websites include www.seat61.com, www.loco2.com, www.directferries.co.uk, www.eurolines.co.uk/ and of course www.quidco.co.uk for getting cashback on all the purchases!
Here endeth the lesson,
O.
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