Scenes From The Fictitious Genesis Of A Planned Resolution By People Who Don't Write This Stuff To Begin With

A.K.A. Ideas On How To Finish 'The Ninja Of Health'

(Part XXX , XXXI )

<fade in from lime>

Dennis: We've got to do something about this story that is endlessly going on and on, Evelyn.

Evelyn: My, this ravioli is delicious. I've never even had good ravioli, and suddenly we get miraculous ravioli!

Dennis: <sigh>

Evelyn: The story? I know. It's going on forever, and we still have to resolve a ridiculous meditation scene in a crater.

Dennis: This guy seems to be a bringer of bad events, doesn't he? A chaos merchant?

Evelyn: Yes, but at the same time, he has NOT hurt either of our protagonists. <eyes Dennis's fruit salad>

Dennis: Get back, fruit fiend! Here, you shall never get through this frontier of condiments!

Waiter: Sir, madam, would you like anything else to eat or drink.

Dennis: Yes, could you get this diet-monster a fruit salad please. Without melon.

Waiter: Of course. We do not serve -- <shudder> -- melon here.Is that all?

Evelyn: Two of those tiny post-meal coffees please.

Waiter: Thank you, madam, sir.

Dennis: He seemed overly formal, didn't he?

Evelyn: He's just trying to make up for last week, when he accidentally tipped that mushy avocado all over your head.

Dennis: Hmm. Story. At the same time, our villain has been making people sick and rendered a vital deus ex machine comatose. He has been affecting people.

Evelyn: But not lethally. He has only been messing things about, although people would die eventually, or have already, in the margins.

Dennis: A chaos merchant?

Evelyn: Yes, but we do play that awfully often, don't we? We seem to have a chaotic evil counterpoint in every single thing we write!

Dennis: I blame Moriarty.

Evelyn: Well, you would. We'll probably be sued just for using his name.

Dennis: Nope! Definitely in the public domain. Hurrah!

Waiter: Voila.

Dennis: Is that a whole pineapple?

Waiter: With the compliments of the house. <departs>

Evelyn: The wall of condiments stands. Keep your eyes off this pineapple.

Dennis: Well, we could defeat the bad guy, and then have him not be so bad, right?

Evelyn: I suppose so... But how?

Dennis: Well, if it's order versus chaos, then there are some pretty standard things we could pull out. I have this idea about the sky and a hot air balloon teathered to a tower...

Evelyn: Oh. Good grief...

Dennis: You want to hear all about it, don't you? Admit it.

Evelyn: If I give you some pineapple, will you not tell me?

Dennis: Too late! Mwahahahaha!

Evelyn: Hang on! Did you just say 'balloon'?

Dennis: Yes, 'hot air balloon', to be precise.

Evelyn: I have a related idea. We'll compare notes at pillows time. There's just one more thing to talk about now, though.

Dennis: What?

Evelyn: We seriously need to stop writing comedic dialogue scenes in Italian restaurants. It's fast becoming a crutch.

Dennis: Never. Pasta names are funny. You'll just have to live with it.

<fade to purple>

The end of the 'Ninja of Health' is planned...